3 Coaching Mistakes Managers Make

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How do you motivate people to bring their best effort to the workplace every day? Most managers will say it’s all about shaping behavior through strong incentives and rewarding positive outcomes, while also establishing appropriate consequences for poor performance. No doubt, a well-designed performance management system is imperative. Yet, talented people need more than carrots and sticks to reach their full potential. According to New York Times Bestselling Author, Dan Pink, smart professionals require three things; autonomy, mastery, and purpose to be intrinsically motivated in their jobs (1). This is why the critical skill of coaching separates a good manager from a top manager in today’s workplace.

Managers who are skilled coaches help their people to grow and develop beyond their current capacity, execute self-directed plans, and bring their unique gifts to the world in a purposeful way. Conversely, mangers who do not coach well set their reports up for stagnation, mediocrity, and disengagement. Many managers, today, understand this, and are genuinely interested in becoming a better coach. As such, I’ve made coaching skills development a top priority in my leadership programs for years. After nearly a decade of training thousands of people, I’ve noticed a few common coaching mistakes many managers make that I’d like to share with you.

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1.    Trying to Solve the Problem – Bar none, this is the single biggest mistake most managers make when coaching their people. It makes perfect sense. A report comes to you with a workplace challenge, and aren’t you supposed to provide them with solutions? Not if you’re coaching them! The best managers will resist the strong urge to provide solutions straightaway and instead ask smart and powerful questions that unlock learning. Then, as ideas emerge in conversation, the report is more intrinsically motivated to act on them because they are their own. Why do we as managers find this so difficult to do? It’s about identity. You are likely defining your value as a manager as a fixer, a doer, an expert in your craft. Instead, try shifting your identity to one of a facilitator. Your true value is in your curiosity, and in your belief that your reports are more creative and insightful than they (or you) might possibly imagine.

I offer you subscribe to the 80/20 rule to stay on track as a coach. A good coaching conversation is 80% your report talking, and 20% you asking smart questions that create momentum. If you pause and notice that this ratio is out of whack, it’s likely because you are trying too hard to personally solve the problem. Step back and regain perspective on where your true value lies.

Banded2.    Ignoring Emotions – Most coaching conversations have a strong human component to them. Perhaps a report is having a problem influencing a decision-maker, challenged by a co-worker’s personality, or uncertain of what the next stages of their career might be. Yet, many managers distance themselves from the messy emotional stuff and immediately move to generating options for a technical solution. Human challenges require us to exercise a little humanity first. Your report is experiencing emotions as a result of these challenges, so meet them where they are and help them to feel heard first.

Use reflexive listening techniques like, “What I am hearing is that…” and “It sounds to me like this is a (frustrating, disappointing, overwhelming, etc.) experience for you.” In helping them to hear their own voice, and then naming/validating their emotions, you are demonstrating presence and emotional intelligence. You are also creating the conditions for success. Whereas before, emotions may have clouded their vision for available options. In leading with your humanity first, you’ve helped them to process these emotions and move on to rational problem solving on their own.

Hook3.    Taking the Bait – Many managers, especially those new to coaching, are so eager to help that they accidentally “collude” with their report on their problem they face. They are doing all the right things like deep listening, exercising empathy, and helping their report to hear themselves. Yet, in doing so, they are only seeing the challenge through their report’s eyes, and losing objectivity. Great coaching is often about holding multiple perspectives simultaneously, and helping your report to see alternatives.

You may need to be provocative and ask your report, “How did you contribute to this mess?” We often believe our problems exist outside of us rather than within us, and this is one of my favorite questions to help a coachee see the impact of their own behavior. Or, maybe, you pretend to bring the other party “into the room” and ask “if John were here right now, what might he say?” As a general rule, begin with strong empathy, yet remember there are (at least) three sides to every coaching conversation; 1) your report’s story, 2) the other side’s story, and 3) the truth. Great managers help their reports to see more of the truth, so they can choose more influential actions.

The good news is that most managers tend to overcome these three coaching mistakes rather quickly. All it takes is a little training and deliberate practice. If you are interested in helping your managers to become better coaches, contact me directly at dspungin@leadergrowthgroup.com to learn about our management development programs.

BookDavid understands how effective leadership generates success. A U.S. Army combat veteran and consultant to thousands of Fortune 500 managers, he is the Founder & Principal Consultant of The Leader Growth Group, a firm dedicated to creating self-aware leaders who inspire more engaged and productive workplaces. Get a copy of his Amazon Bestselling book, “Growing Leaders: 20 Articles to Challenge, Inspire, and Amplify Your Leadership” by clicking here.

(1) Pink, D. H. (2009). Drive: The surprising truth about what motivates us. New York, NY: Riverhead Books.

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Self-Management Through Reappraisals

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Video Description: Leaders understand reactivity causes them to lose influence. Here are five reappraisal strategies you can use to increase perspective and make better choices when facing adversity.

Reappraisals Slide

Time Investment: Less than 4 minutes.

Click on the below link to start the video!

 

Example_15David understands how effective leadership generates success. A U.S. Army combat veteran with corporate leadership experience, he is the Founder & Principal Consultant of The Leader Growth Group, a firm dedicated to creating self-aware leaders who inspire more engaged and productive workplaces. Get a copy of his new book, “Growing Leaders: 20 Articles to Challenge, Inspire, and Amplify Your Leadership” by clicking here.

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Expanding Your “Choice Gap”

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One of my goals in 2018 is to create a YouTube channel that provides quick, informative, and inspiring leadership lessons. Please enjoy this first episode of The Leader Growth Group Video Blog.

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Video Description: Leaders understand reactivity causes them to lose influence. By acknowledging their inner dialogue and emotions, the best leaders create space for more mindful and effective actions.

Time Investment: Less than 4 minutes.

Click on the below link to start the video:

 

Example_15David understands how effective leadership generates success. A U.S. Army combat veteran with corporate leadership experience, he is the Founder & Principal Consultant of TheLeader Growth Group, a firm dedicated to creating self-aware leaders who inspire more engaged and productive workplaces. Get a copy of his new book, “Growing Leaders: 20 Articles to Challenge, Inspire, and Amplify Your Leadership” by clicking here.

*All Rights Reserved. Reproduction, publication, and all other use of any and all of this content is prohibited without authorized consent of the author.

Setting the Stage for Your Leadership Success

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It’s a new year, it’s a new you! For many of us, January is our customary transition time. A period of lofty aspirations and making positive changes. You may be saying to yourself, “This is the year I will finally lose that 10 pounds, spend more time with the family, or (insert your own reliably missed goal here).” That’s right…we tend to start out strong with our goals, but lose momentum as the reality of life sets in. Nowhere is this more apparent than at your local gym. Right about now, the place is fully packed with hopeful and motivated people. Yet, give it about three weeks….the place will be a ghost town as the difficulty of consistent self-discipline slowly sets in. While setbacks in personal fitness aspirations are normal, and, relatively harmless, there are some goals you can’t afford to miss. Namely, your leadership goals.

With leadership comes tremendous responsibility. Others are counting on you to be your highest-best-self as a leader—everyday. They need you to bring your strengths, mitigate your challenges, and embrace continuous learning. You can’t give it your best in January and, then, just take a few months off. As a leader, you are always on a stage. Always performing. Always being evaluated. If you expect your people to deliver rock star results this year, you need to be the example. As such, the best leaders have a plan to continuously grow themselves.

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So, do you have your leadership goals for the year already established? If not, where should you start? Here are a few thoughts to help spur some ideas.

Thumbs Up and Down1.Inventory Historic Feedback – Reflect back on last year. What consistent feedback did you hear? What strengths did others value? Any weaknesses that are impeding your success? Try to list two to three answers to each of these questions. If this takes you more than 5 minutes to complete, I offer that your most important leadership goal for the coming year may need to be diligently and consistently collecting feedback on your leadership performance.

Vision on Mountain2. Imagine Team/Organizational Success –Take a moment and envision you’ve just fast- forwarded to December. It was an amazingly successful year and you are proud of your team and organizational performance! See the results in your mind’s eye. What are your clients, teammates, and reports saying about the year? Now, who would you need to become as a leader for this to be a reality? How would you personally need to change?

Trends Compass3. Note Environmental Trends – Perhaps you are already a high-performing leader and want to take your game to the next level. Look at how the world is evolving and seek opportunities to evolve with it. Here is a list of seven of the top leadership skills for 2020. For a more in-depth look at what’s ahead, the Center for Creative Leadership published this excellent white paper on future trends in leader development. My personal take on imperative leadership skills for the future include: ability to lead change in an environment of volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity (VUCA); emphasis on facilitative coaching skills as a manager; and internalizing a “service-before-self” mentality rooted in curiosity and humility.

Whatever you decide to focus on as a leader this year, I have one final word of advice…don’t go at it alone! Lean into your support system and seek out mentorship, coaching, and skills training opportunities. If you are interested in executive coaching, check out my Executive Edge Program. If you or your team are interested in becoming a VUCA Proof© leader, check out my VUCA Proof© White Paper and VUCA Proof© Executive Workshop. Great luck in the year ahead, set the stage and lead well!

Example_15(David understands how effective leadership generates success. A U.S. Army combat veteran with corporate leadership experience, he is the Founder & Principal Consultant of TheLeader Growth Group, a firm dedicated to creating self-aware leaders who inspire more engaged and productive workplaces. Get a copy of his new book, “Growing Leaders: 20 Articles to Challenge, Inspire, and Amplify Your Leadership” by clicking here.

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3 Keys to Getting Yourself Promoted

Ambition. Some of us have more of it than others. For those highly motivated individuals out there, working hard to get themselves promoted, I offer a few (perhaps less than intuitive) thoughts that will increase your opportunity for advancement.

1.    To get yourself promoted, get your boss promoted.

fastest way to promotion is to clear your path to the next level in the organizational hierarchy. When your boss gets promoted, there is an already established and immediate organizational need. Naturally, when you have been a key part of your boss’s success, it makes sense that you will be identified as the “heir apparent” for the vacated position. Yet, most of us are too worried about our own immediate lanes of responsibility to look at the bigger picture. Pick your head up. Think bigger. How is your boss’s boss defining success? When you understand the priorities two levels up, you can exercise initiative without your boss’s direct guidance. This frees your boss up to focus their energy on creative and strategic initiatives that might garner them greater visibility, increasing their promotion potential—which increases your promotion potential.

2.    Make yourself redundant. 

Huh, won’t that get me fired, rather than promoted? This goes against our own thoughtson self-preservation! For many, the story goes something like this. If I train, coach, and mentor high potential members of my team in everything I know, they will one day take my place and I’ll be without a job. This is backwards thinking. Organizational succession is a dance of resource allocation. You want decision makers to be comfortable with replacing you. When they see the next generation of talent ready to step up, and they feel you are ready to do the same, it becomes a far easier decision to make. Thus, invest in your reports, promote their successes, and create “superstars” that will seamlessly take the reins when you are asked to take on bigger endeavors.

3.    Communicate your desires.

This seems so obvious. Yet, so many people go through their career paths waiting for others to open doors for them. Their default storyline is, as long as I do good work, others will definitely notice, and they will take care of me when promotion opportunities arise. Do you know where you want to be a year from now? How about 5 years from now? Are you communicating those thoughts to others? If not, you are doing yourself a disservice. When you have deliberate and focused career development conversations with powerful decision-makers well in advance, you are planting a seed. People will start looking at you differently, evaluating you against your intentions, and perhaps coaching you as well.

(David understands how effective leadership generates success. A U.S. Army combat veteran with corporate leadership experience, he is the Founder & Principal Consultant of The Leader Growth Group, a firm dedicated to creating self-aware leaders who inspire more engaged and productive workplaces.)

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Connect, Adapt, Collaborate: Applying Army Mission Execution Fundamentals to Business

Army Ops

The U.S. Army has a timeless and sticky saying it uses in order to drive home the fundamentals of mission execution. From the very first days of boot camp, a young Private will hear the Drill Sergeants yelling “you must learn how to shoot, move, and communicate if you want to survive on the battlefield!” They then go on to spend weeks mastering their personal weapon, learning how to low crawl and find cover, and practicing how to speak properly on the radio. Over time, one learns how important these skills really are. Yes, there are many more advanced competencies to learn over the course of your career, but if you can’t do these three basics consistently well… it might all be for nothing.

These ideas are not limited to the military and there is much that corporate leaders can take away from this simple saying as well. Successfully executing any strategy, whether it be on the battlefield or the boardroom, is often a function of doing the fundamentals consistently well. So how might the Army’s fundamentals of shoot, move, and communicate apply to the modern business environment? There are many similarities but I would translate the language to connect, adapt, and collaborate.

TargetConnect – Just like the Private learning how to “put steel on target” at the weapons qualification range, business execution requires one to master their resources and connect them with distant objectives. Specifically, there are three connections to be made that foster better execution. First, master an awareness of your personal strengths and connect these innate talents with the team’s objectives. Ask yourself: what are my exceptional gifts to the world and how can I provide the most value in day-to-day execution? Next, smartly connect to the infinite resources outside of you. Who can do this challenging activity much better than you can? Savvy leaders realize their boundaries and connect with others that compliment limitations. Finally, fully connect with your customer’s needs and expectations. Little is more frustrating than executing well on something that is no longer in the greatest service to your key stakeholders. Like the bullet seeking its target, the energy of connecting with your customer is one of laser-like focus. Don’t wait for feedback; be proactive and purposeful in continuously reaching out to clarify how things are going.

mud soldiersAdapt – Successful execution is becoming less of a formulaic process, and maintaining flexibility and agility is increasingly important. In essence, we must practice our ability to move with our shifting environment and change plans as necessary. In the Army, we might rehearse a complex mission for weeks on end. Yet, we lived by the rules of “the enemy always has a vote” and “no plan ever survives first contact (with that enemy).” A more relevant example might be at Google, where the culture promotes the concept of “design and iterate.” Googlers see strategy and execution as being one – a continuously refined process of trial and error that speeds up results. We might intuitively understand these concepts; however, many find them difficult to implement. We frequently become wed to our brilliant plans or overly comfortable with stale execution processes. The key to overcoming these barriers is to cultivate a “beginner’s mind” and learn to approach potential change from a place of curiosity. When we already “know” how to execute best, we resist things that do not reinforce these beliefs. Yet, when we lose our rigidity and get curious about possibilities, change becomes a way to simply get better.

military-560475_1280Collaborate – Great execution today requires increased communication and collaboration. It seems simple enough, yet why can it be so hard to collaborate during execution? The answer lies in the two very different energies required to do these equally imperative skills. When we are personally executing, our heads are down, our eyes narrow, and we concentrate our energy so that we might overcome obstacles and complete our tasks. When we are collaborating, we pick our heads up, we open our eyes wide, and seek to see the bigger picture around us. Executing and collaborating well is an ebb and flow of contraction and expansion. We collaborate to build intent, execute initial steps, communicate needs, execute some more, check-in on collective progress, drive towards results… it’s a rhythm we all know well. Yet, we all seem to do much better at the personal execution part than we do at the collaboration part. Key to becoming a better collaborator is becoming aware of when you contract. When do you tend to put your head down and get overly focused on your piece of the execution pie? For me, I contract when I have made a personal commitment and am up against a tight deadline. In these moments, I can be a lousy communicator as I focus myself on fulfilling my promises and shut down to others in the process. Stress in general can make us all contract, so recognizing when we are stressed is a tell-tale sign that we need to communicate our needs and collaborate more with others.

Execution is what translates ethereal strategy into tangible results. Yet, disciplined execution is a rarity in today’s turbulent business environment. Learn to embody the three fundamentals of connection, adaptation, and collaboration…and all will marvel at your ability to get the mission accomplished!

(David understands how effective leadership generates success. A U.S. Army combat veteran with corporate leadership experience, he is the Founder & Principal Consultant of The Leader Growth Group, a firm dedicated to creating self-aware leaders who inspire more engaged and productive workplaces.)

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How to Get Your Leadership License

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What if you could only be a leader in your organization if you first passed a leadership test. Consider something like getting your driver’s license! Imagine this. On your big day, your proud mentor takes you to the Department of Leadership Certification (DLC). You are nervous as your number is called to enter a private booth and take a multiple-choice quiz on topics like emotional intelligence, teamwork, and leading organizations through change. You feel good about how things went, until your assessor calls for you to come and take your practical exam. You are then given a task and a team, and told to deliver results under challenging conditions. All the while, your assessor is scribbling notes on his clipboard about your performance. Hours later, you get your scores back…you’ve done it! You’ve passed your leadership test and earned your license to lead!

Sounds ridiculous, right? Well, as crazy as this may sound, many people out there are waiting for someone to “certify” them as a leader. They may not be formally taking a test; however, they are lingering until an authority deems them “worthy” of handling leadership responsibility. These are the people who tell themselves, “once I get that promotion, then I will be ready to lead.” Or maybe it’s “once I get an M.B.A. from a prestigious institution, that’s when I’ll really start leading.”

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I’ve got a “secret” to share with you…No one can give you permission to lead; it’s a choice you make all by yourself. It doesn’t take a new title. It doesn’t require an advanced degree. However, it does require you to see yourself as a leader. That’s the real magic of getting recognized with a promotion or going through the ceremony of graduating from a credentialed program. These events change how we see ourselves. When leadership becomes a part of your identity, one starts to embrace leadership behaviors more.

So, how do we flip the switch and start to see ourselves as leaders? Here are a few ideas:

  1. Realize You Own the Power – Come on…Really? Yes, really. Recognize that leadership is not about the title and has nothing to do with your credentials. Instead, these things often lend us authority. Yet, authority is given to us whereas leadership is something you do all on your own. If something in your organization must change, begin with yourself and model the change that’s needed. Build your credibility and find others with shared values. Create strength through relational commitments and energize others through your passion. Then, work with authority (or artfully against it) to strategize outcomes and appropriate actions to bring about a new reality. Voila, you just led a movement. Not because someone authorized you to do so, rather because you chose to put in the work.
  2. Practice Your Confidence – So why don’t more people put in the work required to lead? It’s a combination of a few things. First, it’s easier to not exercise leadership, and many just don’t have the energy or determination within them. They would rather someone just do it for them. The second most common reason is people are afraid they might fail. They say to themselves; “what if I put myself out there and nobody follows?” or “do I really have what it takes to make a difference?” There is only one way to know—give it a try. You build your confidence to lead by doing. Note also that it’s often in failure we learn our greatest leadership lessons. Every time you step into the arena, you are building your leadership skills, and in the process, you gain confidence.
  3. Be a Student of Leadership – The best leaders are insatiably curious and committed to life-long learning. They consistently pursue new knowledge and diverse perspectives on leadership. They read leadership books not only to gain fresh insights, but also to form their own opinions on what will work for them personally. They also try to surround themselves with other leaders and observe their behavior. Finally, they commit to their professional development. Whether it be signing up for a new training or working with an Executive Coach, they prepare themselves for the challenges of leadership.

If you hadn’t already bought into your own power to exhibit leadership, I hope this article has helped you to see things differently. If you know someone who has real potential to lead, yet hasn’t created that identity for themselves, please share this with them. With so many challenges today, the world need more leaders. Thankfully, we don’t have to get a license to do so; we just need to choose to lead.

(David understands how effective leadership generates success. A U.S. Army combat veteran with corporate leadership experience, he is the Founder & Principal Consultant of The Leader Growth Group, a firm dedicated to creating self-aware leaders who inspire more engaged and productive workplaces.)

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