Three Keys to Building Leader Resiliency

Juggeling

Resiliency is a hot topic these days. Leaders are “juggling more balls in the air” than ever before and many can’t ever seem to catch up with the pace of life. The impact is that balls end up getting dropped, which leads to increased stress and, ultimately, to leader burn-out. Many think that they can avoid this modern reality by simply learning to manage their time more effectively. While I agree that most everyone can learn to manage their time better, to properly address these challenges requires a more holistic approach. We must also look at how leaders are managing their stress and energy levels.

Time, stress and energy are undoubtedly interconnected and, thus, leaders should learn to excel in all three of these domains in order to maximize their personal effectiveness and resiliency against burn-out. Think about your own experiences. Some days you might be dragging a bit and not able to get your entire to-do list accomplished. Despite your well-managed intentions, it just didn’t happen today. This in turn might lead you to start thinking about all the things you need to catch up with and as your mind starts racing, your stress levels rise. Later that evening, you lie awake at night trying to figure out what to do next, losing valuable sleep and waking the next day with even less energy than the day before. Sound familiar?

So what are some of the things we can do to reduce this self-perpetuating cycle? While there are many techniques that can help, I would like to highlight what I believe to be the single best thing you can do as a leader to increase your effectiveness in each of these domains.

1. Manage your time by practicing “worst first.”

Everyone has something they dread doing throughout the day. Maybe it’s that sales call or perhaps it’s knocking out that admin task that seems like such a waste of time. Whatever it is for you, you always save it for the end of the day. By then you’re exhausted, so you put it off until tomorrow. Get into the habit of doing it first thing in the morning before you take on any other task for the day. Not only will you manage your time better, but you’ll feel less stressed and more energized as you no longer have that monkey hanging on your back.

2. Manage your stress by finding a physical outlet.

Nothing busts through stress like physical activity. Why is that? Because stress lives within our bodies and it has to go somewhere. Yes, it is true that we are responsible for generating our own stress as it stems from our own thoughts (as opposed to the common perception that others are stressing us out). Yet, short of becoming a Zen master and learning to insert mindful behavior to reduce the body’s natural stress response, I have found nothing more effective for limiting stress levels than 30 minutes to an hour of vigorous exercise daily (CrossFit is my favorite approach). Leaders hold their boundaries firmly when it comes to making time to exercise. This means they schedule time on their calendar and protect it accordingly.

3. Manage your energy by maximizing your time off.

Think of your personal energy level as being like a car’s fuel tank; you can only go so long before you need to stop and refuel. Yet, not all fuel is created equal; there are various levels of octane to choose from. If you own a high-performing vehicle, choosing the low grade gas may have significant long term impact on your fuel injectors. Eventually, the car will run sluggishly. You also are a high-performing machine. When it’s time to refuel, put the right stuff in your system. Tempting as it may be, don’t just sit on the couch and catch up on your favorite TV shows. Instead, do the things that bring you the most energy. Maybe you love to travel, or spend time outdoors, or really invest in quality time with your family. Plan your downtime accordingly and you will increase your energy reserves.

Committing to mastering these three skills can greatly increase your personal effectiveness and resiliency as a leader. The key word is commitment. While we all might recognize the benefits of these skills/behaviors, only a handful of us will find the personal discipline to make it our reality. Yet, all new behaviors start with a personal choice. So as we close out the year, what new choices will you make in 2016?

This post is a sample chapter from my new eBook “ACTIONABLE! Leadership: Develop Your Inspirational Ability, Motivate Teams, & Achieve Extraordinary Results.”  Claim your free copy by following the below link and start taking action towards meeting your full leadership potential.

Free ACTIONABLE! Leadership eBook

How Leaders Remain Composed Under Pressure

How Leaders Remain Composed Under Pressure

Composure is a behavior that people respond to instantly. Put any group under pressure and you will be able to assess most people’s level of composure in a few short minutes. Sometimes people will mentally “check out” and wait for others to handle the challenging situation for them. Other times they will “freak out” and have an overly emotional reaction. Regardless of the response, any indication of losing one’s composure directly impacts one’s ability to influence others. Conversely, individuals displaying a high degree of composure under pressure are naturally attractive. We seem drawn to follow those that project a calm, cool, self-assuredness. Given this phenomena, and that leadership is about inspiring others through our action and example, it makes sense that a leader should work to hone their composure. I am not talking about developing arrogant, egotistical, or narcissistic behavior that suggests “nothing rattles me!” Instead, I am talking about establishing a powerful presence that, regardless of the pressure leaders find themselves under, they inspire optimism and high-performance from self and others.

Think about your own experiences. Have you ever worked for a leader who frequently lost his or her composure? Ever work for a “screamer” before? Did you trust him or her? Likely not. As a result, you probably second guessed his or her decision and looked for leadership from others. The opposite is likely true if you’ve worked for a leader who exhibited a composed presence. She probably made you feel safe. She didn’t get rattled by challenging situations. She remained “cool under pressure” and, hence, you respected her judgement. By providing level-headed direction, she created trust. Composed persons will face challenges head on because they are not inhibited by paralyzing emotion like fear. When we “feel” this strength within them, it becomes contagious, and we start to believe we can achieve success also. Composed leaders breed confidence in others.

Many believe composure is something that you are either born with or you are not; a personality trait. This is completely false. It is important to understand that composure is not an innate gift that enables an absence of fear in high-pressure situations, but rather the mindful management of that fear. We can have control over how we feel about any given experience. While it may not appear this way sometimes, with increased self-awareness and practice, we can learn to choose our personal beliefs, thus learning to develop greater composure.

Another common misconception is that the only way to develop composure is by experiencing challenging situations. Overcoming challenging “crucible” experiences undoubtedly grows our self-confidence and, hence, increases our likelihood of exhibiting greater composure in future situations. Life is constantly knocking us off balance and gives us ample opportunity to practice composure in everyday life as well. There’s the child at home that won’t get his shoes on to leave the house; the unavoidable traffic that makes us late to our meeting; or the co-worker who always knows exactly how to get under our skin. These are examples of common annoyances that can cause us to lose our patience, perspective, and ultimately our presence. Yet, if you consistently practice composure in these routine situations, you will be well prepared to exhibit the calm self-assuredness that inspires others when the next crucible moment presents itself.

So the natural question then is, how do we practice greater composure in our daily lives so that we can prepare ourselves for the challenging moments that we may face? Here are a few best practices to consider: 

1. Don’t take it so personally – Composed leaders know not to take things so personally when situations don’t go their way. As the saying goes…Sh*t happens! Circumstances don’t always play out logically because our environment is complex and unpredictable. If we take things personally, we will begin to behave defensively. Instead, learn to let go of what is beyond your control. Leaders understand that control is an illusion. Some leaders find that adopting a mantra to remind us of this fundamental truth to be helpful. Timeless sayings like “Que Sera, Sera” and “Everything happens for a reason” can be helpful in regaining perspective and releasing ourselves from blame. The result is often a more composed self that is ready to rationally tackle the problem at hand.

 2. Fake it until you make it – The pressure is on and you can feel the anxiety permeate the team as the reality of the challenge sets in. All eyes are on you for answers, yet you have no idea what to do next! No worries, countless successful leaders have been in your shoes before. What did they do? They pretended they had a clue. Often what is most needed in these situations is a sense of optimism and reassurance that everything will be ok. You must be the energy that is missing in your team. While you may not have a tangible next step figured out yet, you can provide a confidence that, in working together, the team will figure it out.

3. Stand taller, breathe deeply, speak more slowly, smile more – The body and the mind are closely connected. If you change little things about how you hold yourself in physical space, it can change the way you think and how you experience the world. For instance, mindfully standing taller with your chest higher and your shoulders back will cause your voice to deepen and your words to have greater gravity. Composed leaders also practice breathing deeply into their belly vs. allowing short, chest high, breaths which promote anxiousness. Composed leaders also mindfully speak a little slower, as they don’t have a need to rush to their conclusion or worry about losing their train of thought. Finally, composed leaders smile in the face of adversity, and, in doing so, project their confidence and optimism onto others. Research supports that smiling invites connection and increases a leader’s influence.

4. Crush negative self-talk in the moment – It’s not just you. We all have that voice in our head that talks to us sometimes. Most annoyingly, it shows up most often right at the moment when we are assessing whether or not we can do something challenging. We hear things like “that will never work,” or “what were they thinking putting me in charge of this task?” That voice in our head is constantly telling us we are not good enough. Why does this happen? Well, that’s your ego talking and it’s very protective of you. If we try and fail, our ego bears the brunt of that pain and it tends to not like that very much. So it works hard to keep itself in a comfortable and risk free environment.

Yet, leaders operate with a growth mindset and recognize that risk and learning through failure are all part of increasing one’s confidence and composure. Thus, leaders crush negative self-talk in the moment, before it negatively influences them. A powerful way to do this is by simply asking the question “where did I learn this thinking?” Often, we have learned these self-sabotaging beliefs from someone in our lives or from a negative experience. When we pause to question if that belief is really true, we realize that this is not the case or that we are allowing our past to unfairly dictate our future possibilities. You are not the person you were just yesterday, so imagine how much you’ve grown in five years. Let go of those old stories and acknowledge your current strengths and abilities.

This post is a sample chapter from my new eBook “ACTIONABLE! Leadership: Develop Your Inspirational Ability, Motivate Teams, & Achieve Extraordinary Results.”  Claim your free copy by following the below link and start taking action towards meeting your full leadership potential.

Free ACTIONABLE! Leadership eBook

Be Mindful of the Journey

ulyssesEvery now and then I stumble upon a gem of literature that truly inspires me. My most recent discovery is the poem Ithaka by C.V. Cafafy. Written in 1911, Cavafy was inspired to write Ithaka by the Homeric return journey of Odysseus to his home island, as depicted in the Odyssey. The poem’s theme is that enjoyment of the journey of life, and the increasing maturity of the soul as that journey continues, are all the traveler can ask for. Yet, I also see many parallels to a leader’s journey. Before I voice my insights, I invite you to take in the words unfiltered and through your own leadership lens.

As you set out for Ithaka
hope the voyage is a long one,
full of adventure, full of discovery.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,
angry Poseidon—don’t be afraid of them:
you’ll never find things like that on your way
as long as you keep your thoughts raised high,
as long as a rare excitement
stirs your spirit and your body.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,
wild Poseidon—you won’t encounter them
unless you bring them along inside your soul,
unless your soul sets them up in front of you.

Hope the voyage is a long one.
May there be many a summer morning when,
with what pleasure, what joy,
you come into harbors seen for the first time;
may you stop at Phoenician trading stations
to buy fine things,
mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
sensual perfume of every kind—
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
and may you visit many Egyptian cities
to gather stores of knowledge from their scholars.

Keep Ithaka always in your mind.
Arriving there is what you are destined for.
But do not hurry the journey at all.
Better if it lasts for years,
so you are old by the time you reach the island,
wealthy with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.

Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey.
Without her you would not have set out.
She has nothing left to give you now.

And if you find her poor, Ithaka won’t have fooled you.
Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,
you will have understood by then what these Ithakas mean.

Beautiful! This is the kind of piece that one should post on their refrigerator as a thoughtful reminder for the day ahead. Here are a few valuable leadership lessons that I am taking away from it:

  1. The first step in leadership is finding your courage – The poem starts with a destination in mind, however the path ahead is potentially a dangerous one. Most true acts of leadership are inherently dangerous by nature. That’s because leaders must often go against the grain, disrupt the status quo, and inspire change in themselves and others. Leaders can prepare for these challenging conditions by aligning their mind, body, and spirit. When a leader has a clear singular purpose, they can find their courage more readily and lead in spite of fear.
  2. Cherish your time as a leader – When performing the role of a leader, we are often engaged in a struggle. We summon a vision and then rally others to perform against that vision. Change is never easy and the responsibility to keep followers focused on the end state can can be personally taxing. Yet, in this journey we can find so much richness while in relationships with others. We discover new possibilities, uncover potential, and thrive together in applying new found wisdom. When your tenure in a leadership position is up, it will be the struggle that you most fondly remember, not just the accomplishments.
  3. Leadership is not a destination, it’s a journey – This poem is a powerful reminder that we never really become “a leader,” yet we are always striving to improve our leadership. Often when we master one experience in life we are rewarded with a new and more complex leadership challenge. It’s through the striving that we foster curiosity, maintain our humility, and find our true power.

With these insights in mind, I offer that you check in with yourself. What’s your leadership Ithika? Are you being mindful of the journey?

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